We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
