Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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