Me too!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Duck Duck Cougar?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize