I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
