she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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