So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
