I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
