At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
