when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
