He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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