Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
