just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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