Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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