So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
