and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
