I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
