He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
