You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize