Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
