so that wasnt chicken after all
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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