I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
