Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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