I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize