I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
