Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
