Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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