thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize