Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
