So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
