I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
