Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
