Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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