Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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