every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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