First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
