she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
