I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
please come you make the beer taste better
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
