It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
