i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
