So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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