It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
