just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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