Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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