the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
