I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize