I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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