I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize