I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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