dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You pole danced in your parka.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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