Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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