fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
please come you make the beer taste better
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
