About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
