So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A+ Viking dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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