Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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