marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize