Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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