Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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