oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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