if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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