You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
