How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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