it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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