I just cut my nipple shaving
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
