I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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