i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
