quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
