What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
