Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize