i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Vodka?
Forever.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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