That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
