I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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